Co-Sleeping - Shhhh. The Baby's Sleeping (...in our bed, *gasp*!)

I don't remember specifically discussing co-sleeping with my husband before our daughter was born, but since our first days of parenting we have become extremely familiar with the co-sleeping discussion.

When we began our parenting journey, we had a lot of preconceived ideas about how things were going to be, as I'm sure most new parents do.  Things typically don't turn out the way we think they will.

Yes, it's true. Our 18-month-old baby sleeps in our bed.

We didn't start out on our parenting journey thinking, "Let's be one of THOSE couples. Let's share our bed with our baby! Yay!"

She didn't always sleep in our bed either. But let me tell you how this bed sharing arrangement came to be.



After we came home from the hospital, I was recovering from a c-section. And like our current sleeping arrangement, it had not been planned. But the baby's needs trumped our own and that is how she entered the world.

With my limited mobility, not to mention pain and discomfort in my healing process, the baby and I slept together for convenience, since she was a newborn little peanut with constant needs. It kept me from having to get up every time she needed something. Which was often.

Our bedroom was upstairs, which was difficult for me to get to as I recovered, so we were sleeping downstairs.  I slept propped up with a few pillows and the baby safely cradled in my arms.

As I healed and began feeling better, I transitioned her into her crib, where she slept okay, mostly only waking to nurse.

Around 9-months-old it was getting harder to transition her to the crib after she was done nursing during the night. She just wasn't sleepy enough to sleep through the transition.

So, I would sleep propped up with a few bed pillows while she slept peacefully cradled in my arms.

She slept, well, like a baby. Me, not so much.

Not feeling safe laying down next to her because of all the fearful warnings coming from every direction (her doctors, the media, etc.) about how it wasn't safe for the baby, my quality of sleep suffered greatly.

As she neared one-year-old, I couldn't get her to stay asleep in her crib for more than one hour at a time before she'd wall wake up crying for no other reason than to be held.

Finally, out of desperation for some quality sleep, I just laid down with her one night and fell asleep.

We both had an amazing night's sleep!

But I felt guilty for the taboo thing I had done.

Only by now, my smart little peanut had learned to remain in a light state of sleep so she could protest if I tried to put her in her crib no matter the time of night.

So I brought her to bed with me again, and again we were both sleeping great.

I eventually came across a website by Dr. Sears. As I read about his own experience with a child who slept best next to mom, my guilt started to lessen.

The more I read, the better I felt!

I didn't feel like such a failure of a mother for having a baby who wouldn't sleep in her crib.

I was actually feeling like a caring and nurturing mother who was able to meet her baby's needs.

Maybe I was feeling better also, because the baby, my husband and I were all finally getting a quality good night's rest.

I do have plans to transition her to her own bed when the time is right.

I'll be sure and let you know how it goes, but for now we are happy in a sleeping arrangement that works for all of us.

Has anyone else had a similar experience with night time sleeping arrangements? Are there really some babies happy to sleep in their cribs? I'd love to hear your stories!



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